Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
