dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
