I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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