Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize