His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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