My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
