that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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