I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
