he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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