Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
