I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
