my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize