Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Watching her eat just hurts me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
