i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
