youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
