Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
