I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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