We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
