I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
