u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
