Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
