In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my shit smells like andre
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
