Do vagina's smell?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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