If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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