i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
