how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's just so happy...and so naked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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