Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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