Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
