like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
