chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
