Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
