im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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