i don't plan on having that self control this summer
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
