Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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