you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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