i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
