I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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