you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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