If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
