I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
