sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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