it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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