My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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