I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
