called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
