I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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