I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
