I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
