he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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