Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
