problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
