i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The Olympian is in my bed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
