everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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