I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
