her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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