i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
