I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
