You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
