WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
