If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
