question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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