Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
