they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
