just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
