STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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