Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
