Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
